A piece of American history you should know-
Please read the whole letter.
Feel free to fix my grammar.
My plane is flying to the semitone between F and F#. I don’t know what that means. I think that means I’m bored. I have decided that I will try my hand at writing a short short story.
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Overreaction
They were sitting on the old wicker love-seat on their front porch. The wind blew a few leaves in their faces and broke the silence. Narea started to shiver and goosebumps started to appear. First on her forearms, then they spread to every part of body until her knees were shaking and her ankles were covered with the little bumps. She knew there was nothing more to be said right now about the situation without her words turning to sobs, and so she decided to change the subject and blurted out, “Are you just going to sit there, can’t you see I’m freezing?” Sam ran inside, grabbed a blanket and returned to give it to her. When he returned he saw her peddling off with his bike. “Where are you going?” he yelled, as she raced down the street. This was not the first time she had ran off like this. This was a normal reaction after a fight. On one occasion she grabbed the keys to his 1991 blue Toyota Camry and drove until the gas ran out. Luckily, due to fact that the tank was never full, Narea only made it to the outskirts of their town. “Come back! It’s late and it’s freezing.” Narea decided to heed his advice and turned the bike around. “Don’t think I’m not still mad at you. I’m only coming back cause my toes are about to fall off.” Sam knew it would be a long night and he wrapped the blanket around his wife’s body. “I’ll make you a cup of tea. Go inside and sit on the couch. I’ll bring it you.”
“What do you want?” Sam yelled from the kitchen. “I want you to be honest with me.” Sam rolled his eyes and replied with a sigh, “I meant, what kind of tea do you want?” She yelled back, “The vanilla one.”
Sam walked into the living room with the tea in hand and set it in front of Narea. “Thanks. Now if you could just be honest and tell me why you did it. I think that’s the first step to make amends for your actions.” By the tone in her voice, Sam knew she was not going to let this go. “Honey, I told you it was nothing. I should have never even said anything.” With a little less than a shout Narea blurted, “The problem is not that you told me, it’s that you did it.”
“Did what?” Narea’s upper lip was quivering with anger. “Did what, did what? You know exactly what you did.”
“You are blowing this way out of proportion. I should have never told you. It’s not like I could have stopped it.”
At this point Narea was so upset that she stood up and yelled, “Are you saying that you had no control over yourself- That you couldn’t stop yourself from kissing her?” Tears filled her eyes and her words slowed, “You could’t stop yourself from… sleeping with her?”
Sam stood up, grabbed his wife, wrapped his arms around her and said, “I love you! You know I love you.” They both sat down and Narea put her head on his chest. Tears drenched his shirt. “I made a promise that you would be the only girl for me and that will always be true, but there was really nothing I could do. As much as I wish I could, I can’t stop what I do in my dreams.”
They both sat their for the next few minutes in silence, Sam kissed Narea on the forehead and whispered in her ear, “You are a much better kisser than she could ever be.”
I drew the short straw.
How the hell am I so short. Holland is home to the tallest people in the world. This fact is no joke. The girls legs reach my neck. I realized I am short, but I never realized how short I really am until this trip. My Dutch jeans say I should be tall, but the inseam on my Levi’s say otherwise and only reads 30”.
Anyone want my pizza?
One of my roommates made fun of the way I removed my pizza from the oven. She first said that I didn’t put enough oil all over the pan. Valid, but she once asked me how I stay skinny when I eat peanut-butter. “It’s so fattening!” She then looked at me while I answered her question and dumped about a cup of olive oil on her already greasy dinner. This all happened while she coughed and several huge beads of sweat dripped from her forehead. I’m not to sure I will change any of my greasing habits on account of her advice.
Next, as I tipped the cooking sheet to make the pizza slide onto my plate she yelled, “no” took out a second spatula and yanked the cooking sheet from my hands. Did she not realize I didn’t want to dirty two spatulas? Then she said that I have no idea what I’m doing, and asked me if I have lived at my parents house my whole life. As I was thinking about what to say, whether or not I should be offended, and I got a huge whiff of Iberian ham, burnt olive oil and what can only be described as feces. My mouth filled with vomit from the smell that came from her direction. At that moment I came to a rather startling conclusion. I don’t think I really want to eat my pizza anymore.
”!” + “?” = ‽
“I can’t rent a car‽” (Yes, this post warrants the use of an interrobang. If you didn’t know that there was a symbol to express yelling disbelief, you are welcome. If you have ever just wanted to have one symbol to express a question “?” and a exclamation “!” just place an interrobang [“!” + “?” = ‽]. When should you use an interrobang? When Spain (or Utah) is dumb and you can’t believe what you are told. When you just want to say WTF, and you can’t because you are in public. When you have understood what the lady at the car rental place has told you, but you can’t understand why. Please don’t repeat what you told like I didn’t hear you. Just acknowledge the fact that what you just told me is ridiculous!)
“No!”
“Why?”
“Your drivers license was renewed this year.”
“Yes. Why is that a problem?”
“We need proof that you have been driving for more than a year.” (What she really said “Your country is stupid and can’t seem to understand that it’s beneficial to know how long you have been driving.”
“I’ve been driving for more than ten years. Why should you know this?”
“Cause you probably suck at driving.”
“I can’t argue there. So, I can’t rent a car in Spain?”
“Nope!”
